Chapter one..again

College came. I am in control of my life now. Mama left me to my Aunt Bessy. She had her visa to work as a domestic helper in Hongkong. My brothers nefore mama left; the oeldest left home to look for his biological father-the gambler and the other died from an STD. The latter was my mother's favorite. The sweetest kid she ever had. Charming, smart, muy gwapo de hijo. Everybody's favorite in my mother's family. And I was still the unwanted. The link. And my brother dying from STD had been a disappointment was kept secret. Of course they didn't admitted it was an STD, they regerded that doctor's diagnosis as the unsinful disease. Not an STD but a rare kind of disease. But don't get me wrong. I love my brother. I prayed for him in my novenas. His soul to reach heaven. And my personality to please the eyes of my mother's family. Whew! how I hunger for their appreciation. Their acceptance of my being. So much of my brother. I rest his case here.

Mama left to look for a greener pasture. I'll be entering college so she needed a lot of money to spend for my college. I alone spent my days with my mother's sister, Aunt Bessy. There was no problem with her really, if only I obeyed her rules which were out of my vision. I never wanted her rules. They complicate my wants and likes in my life. Those rules inhibits my being me. Blwme it to my complex being. My being extremes ion everything by which Tita Bessy won't ever understand. I love rock music, she hates it. I love going to gigs and other social gatherings that concerns arts of any kind, she hates my late night home comings. I love being active on events for a cause, and she hates activists who rally in front of her government office. One time, she saw me in one of our protesta, holding a placard and yelling at the top of my lungs for the secretary of agriculture to be ousted. I was at the back of our leaders when she saw me on television. Her niece one of the people who led the rally to oust Ms. Besilla Madlang-awa, Auntie Bessy, my aunt. The big joke as her subordinates found out that I was there. And So, I was grounded for two weeks. Mama wasn't calling for months. No phone calls from friends were allowed. No electronic messages. No means of communication from the outside world. Thank God it's summer!